December 24, 2008
-
This just came in my email from my wonderful Aunt Em. It was too funny to not share with all of you!
Merry Christmas To All the wonderful women in my life
If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do?
I'd dump all the silly gifts that are given to you
And deliver some things just inside your front door:
Things you have lost, but treasured before. . .
I'd give you back all of your maidenly vigor,And to go along with it - a cute little figure.Then, restore the old color that once graced your hair,Before rinses and bleaches took residence there. 
I'd bring back the shape with which once you were gifted,So things now suspended need not be uplifted.I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your backSo you'd look like a dream in those tight-fitting slacks.
I'd remove creases and wrinkles and leave only one chin,So you need not spend time rubbing creams on your skin.You'd not have hot flashes or queer dizzy spellsAnd you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells. 
No more sore, aching feet and no corns on your toes;No searching for spectacles when they're right on your nose. Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fannyFrom a doctor who thinks you're just an old granny.
You'd never have a headache, so no pills would you takeAnd no heating pad needed since your muscles won't ache. Yes, if I were Santa, you'd always be hot:You'd be a cute little chick with a fabulous bod.
I'd give a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistleAnd the joys of your heart would be as light as a thistle. But alas! I'm not Santa. . . I'm simply just me:The matronliest matron you ever did see.
I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got,
But I'm due at my doctor's for an estrogen shot.
Even though we've grown older, this wish is sincere; Merry Christmas, dear friend, and a Happy New Year!
Merry Christmas to all my fav xangaites.
Comments (5)
All the pics are just red "x's"---darn!!
For some reason I am not getting your entries in my subscription digest anymore. Guess I will just have to remember to come here and check every day! Great family pictures of your get-together. All the food sounded great--except the sushi. I do have a question for you, though. How on earth do you find anything on the front of your refrigerator?? I thought mine was bad---but mine is neat and empty compared to yours!! lol
Hugs and Merry Christmas to all of you there! Hope you are all enjoying being together. And hope you are not getting all the snow we have been getting. I haven't been watching where it goes after it leaves us---just looking to see where the next storm is coming from, and when! I think Sue has gotten even more than we have. Who knows, at the rate we are getting it, we may still have some when you come through next summer!!
I usually find something I prepared after the meal is over too. But I didn't make deviled eggs this year.....
Happy Holidays to you and your family
Found food is common around here after a big meal. Usually it is something I left in the micro wave.
This post was a "stealer" and I did just that and sent it to friends. So funny....but sure wish she could do all that for me.
Where's that Santa! Have a wonderful Christmas! What fun Kaden is going to have this year! He's at that "perfect age" for all the wonder of Christmas!
can't see anything, is funny tho, thanks for a fun Christmas and all the yummy food, that i ate too much of. love ya
Comments are closed.